Some first dates end in butterflies, goodnight kisses, and messages asking, “when will we meet?” And there are those first dates that end up with an emergency call from your best friend, an uneaten dessert, and your eagerness to get away from your date.

My date definitely belongs to the latter category.

In retrospect, it is one of those dating nightmares that become funny after some time, but at the time I was sure I had had one of the worst dates of my life.

Interestingly, it started just fine.

 

Beginning on a Good Note

 

Well, at any rate, it took us close to two weeks from the time we began conversing until we met up face-to-face. It turned out that our conversation was actually very nice, which led me to believe that he is both smart and funny.

For that reason, I was quite glad about his idea to meet at dinner.

I took hours choosing a suitable dress and arrived on time, actually earlier than I was supposed to. It all seemed like perfect planning.

And then, he showed up.

The first five minutes were even lovely. He complimented my dress choice, ordered a drink, talked about his job, and we reminisced about terrible first messages on dating apps.

I remember thinking, “Maybe this could work out.”

That was one thought that didn’t age well.

 

When the Date Took a Detour

 

As we were enjoying our meal about twenty minutes into the evening, he began receiving numerous messages on his mobile phone.

He checked it.

Checked it again.

Yet another time.

And rather than ignore the notifications, he picked up his phone and started typing.

I did not want to offend, so I continued the conversation, expecting him to get it done soon.

But he didn’t.

For the next ten minutes, I was basically eating my dinner with a guy sitting right across from me, but he was mentally on his phone.

After a while, I asked, “Everything all right?”

He smiled and replied, “Yes, it’s just my ex.”

There are countless things someone can say on the first date.

“My ex” is usually not the best thing.

Then he started narrating their breakup story.

Not briefly.

Not casually.

The whole story.

I learned all about their relationship – when and how they met, why they broke up, how long they had been together, what his parents thought of her, and what reasons led him to think she might take him back.

I had now become his free-of-cost relationship counselor.

 

More Awkward First Date Moments Emerged

 

As I felt the discussion had reached an even more peculiar point, he asked whether I would date someone who maintained good relations with their previous boyfriend/girlfriend.

Just as I started to reply, his phone rang again.

It was her.

He showed me the message.

I kept my eyes respectfully away from the screen.

He did not.

And he read the message aloud without hesitation.

It was quite an embarrassing moment on our first date when you did not know whether to laugh it off, leave the restaurant, or inform him of your extremely important meeting.

All I could do was remain politely silent.

Next came dinner.

He ordered some fancy dinner for himself and advised me that “simplicity is key.” When the check came, he suggested we split the bill even though he had ordered more than I did.

Splitting bills usually does not amount to much.

In this case, however, it was the last straw.

 

An Escape Plan

 

At this stage, I already knew that there would never be a second date.

However, I still had to get through the remainder of the first one.

Luckily, my best friend was aware of my new date plans, and before this, we set up an easy escape plan for me – if I texted her a certain phrase, she would call me and give me an excuse to leave.

I texted her.

After two minutes, my phone rang.

She told me there was an “emergency” back home.

I said sorry and left after collecting all my belongings.

He seemed disappointed.

Then he asked if I would give him another chance.

I smiled at him and said, “We make for a good story.” And, indeed, I was right.

 

Lessons I Have Learned from a Terrible First Date

 

I was embarrassed that I spent the evening with a guy who was obviously not prepared to date me at all at the time. However, this terrible evening gave me some important lessons about dating.

 

Notice actions and not only words

 

There might be someone who excels at writing but has a totally different personality in conversations. Online compatibility does not always translate into real-world compatibility. Paying attention to dating red flags can help you recognise when someone’s actions don’t match the impression they created online.

 

Go with your gut feeling

 

From the very first date, I just got the feeling that he wasn’t really my type at all. That was even as I tried to convince myself that I might have been judging him unfairly all along.

 

A good date involves two people

 

Talking about one’s past experiences and past relationships is completely fine. But when you end up talking about your ex all night long, it just means that you have not been emotionally detached from your past yet.

 

You owe nothing to anyone regarding the second date

 

At times, people end up spending time with guys they don’t like simply out of fear of hurting the other person’s feelings. But that’s definitely not the case.

 

Looking for the Humor Later

 

Now I can laugh at the situation.

Indeed, it is one of the funniest dating disaster stories I know.

It’s a tale that grows more exciting each time it’s told because the details seem too fantastic to be true.

The date provided me with a valuable lesson: not all dates have to be successful.

Dates can be fruitful in leading to a relationship.

Others may result in friendship.

Yet some dates will only serve to provide you with a story to tell your friends for the rest of your life.

 

The Real Takeaway

 

If you have had an extremely terrible date, don’t despair, as it is still possible to keep dating. A disappointing experience doesn’t mean every future interaction will be the same. Taking things slowly and having a casual chat with girls can be one way to meet new people without immediately putting pressure on the outcome.

The point is not to avoid all these awkward situations – and there will always be some.

Rather, understand what these situations are trying to teach you.

The entire conversation might be one-sided after all. Maybe your intuition is guiding you towards knowing for sure that there is something definitely wrong.

In any case, trust your instincts.

The best part of a horrible date might not be falling in love, but perhaps gaining insight into yourself and making a great story to tell your friends.

Or, failing that, think to yourself that at least you have an interesting dating history.